Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Ok, so much for "crystal clear" signs of what God envisions for my life. I lost the job that I thought God had placed me in. Well, lost my job is not exactly accurate. Given an ultimatum (be willing to go full-time at some time during the school year or "perhaps this wasn't the job" for me) is more like it. So, not wanting to work in an environment of impending doom and not exactly seeing eye to eye with the new boss, I decided that perhaps, it wasn't the job for me after all. Not that I wasn't upset (downright P.O.'d and hurt if you must really know), but in hindsight this was a sign, too. God needed me in the temporary position to help out the business manager who was dying of cancer (who has since passed on, God have mercy on her soul) but He obviously does not want me wasting my time as an accounts payable clerk. He's got better plans for me. I don't know what they are at the moment. A few other opportunities came up...a religious education coordinator, a music director at a parish nearby, an online/at-home bookkeeping position)...all which seemed almost perfect and worth doing but in the final analysis, something was missing with each of them, something that made me decide against pursuing them. It's not like we really NEED the money (though it would be nice), but I get the sense that a little financial struggle and depending solely on God for our every, again here's that word, NEED, not want, is the lesson I'm to learn right now. When our family finally surrendered to His providence, we have discovered a high school that is willing to give us generous financial aid for my oldest son as well as a "job" for him where he helps to serve lunch at his school in exchange for a free hot-lunch every day, a parish-sponsored middle-school education for my youngest where we pay what we can in the form of tithing to the parish (which also includes our time, of which we donate freely and very, very often), bumper backyard crops with more food than we know what to do with, a permanent job for my husband that comes with better benefits for the family and lots of "free" time for me to do the things that matter most (prayer, exercise, volunteering at the boys' schools, artistic endeavors, practicing the piano, for starters). So, I guess while I may have seen "somewhat dimly" before, the signs really are still very much "crystal clear."
Posted by Gretchen Sarrazolla at 12:25 PM