I don't know why...

I don't know why this happens but every time I have completed a major project in one of my theology classes (this week it was an oral presentation in front of rolling cameras on the Book of Numbers) I can't get to sleep at a normal time for about three nights thereafter.  This is especially true when it feels as though I just haven't done enough to even get a passing grade yet I get kudos from the teacher or fellow classmates.  I think, on some level, I feel weird about receiving praise for something I've only coherently presented by the mere grace of God.  If it weren't for his divine assistance, I'd be a blabbering idiot. Everything I produce is because of Him.  I simply cannot take credit for any brilliance I may muster.

It is bothering me.

It is keeping me from getting to sleep.

I feel so inadequate and stoo-pid.

Ugh.  

Guess it's time to get on my knees and pray:  pray in thanksgiving,  pray for more help, pray for more grace.  

God is good!

If you trust in the Lord with all your heart, mind, and soul that, even in the darkest of times, He will provide.  Ask and receive, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened.  Trusting in His providence, I have been boldly filial in my request of Him.  Fervent has been my prayer that He show me, in unmistakable ways, what his divine Will is for me and my family.  He has provided and He has shown us the path.  Just a few weeks after the layoff in a troubled economy, my husband has work.  Just a few weeks after the layoff, we have seen the blessing of my husband being released from a company that was more interested in its bottom line than the well being of our family.  Just a few weeks after the layoff, we have discovered the freedom that comes from letting go of temporal goods and unreasonable attitudes towards wealth and its accumulation.  Just a few weeks after the layoff we have come to understand how wonderful it is to have our family intact on a daily basis without the disruption of business travel.  Doors are opening everywhere.  Opportunities abound.  In all, we have recommitted ourselves to the notion that regardless of what we think we want, following God's plan is always spot on (silly us for thinking otherwise)!

God is Holy, God is Almighty, God is Wonderful; deserving of more praise than our feeble human hearts can possibly muster.

God is good!

As the deer longs...

"As the deer longs for flowing streams, so longs my soul for thee, O God.  My soul thirsts for God, for the living God."  Psalm 42:1-2a, RSV-CE