Is there anything more humiliating?

Ok, maybe there are things more humiliating than shopping for a bathing suit. But, I continue to find it rough, even when my virtual model at Lands End is trying the clothes and modeling the fit for me. I find it both fascinating and sad that my virtual model looks a lot like the real me, sans the cellulite. Couldn't Land End just make her look a little thinner? You know, like department store dressing room mirrors fool you into thinking you're smaller than you are because, in reality, these mirrors come from the fun house mirror supply warehouse?

And, why is it, that at 42 years old, married 21 years and two kids wiser, I am STILL worried about what I look like to other people? Maybe I should just carry a sign that says, "If you don't like the gushy tushy and the blinding glare, avert your eyes."