Thursday, August 26, 2010

I don't know why...

I don't know why this happens but every time I have completed a major project in one of my theology classes (this week it was an oral presentation in front of rolling cameras on the Book of Numbers) I can't get to sleep at a normal time for about three nights thereafter.  This is especially true when it feels as though I just haven't done enough to even get a passing grade yet I get kudos from the teacher or fellow classmates.  I think, on some level, I feel weird about receiving praise for something I've only coherently presented by the mere grace of God.  If it weren't for his divine assistance, I'd be a blabbering idiot. Everything I produce is because of Him.  I simply cannot take credit for any brilliance I may muster.

It is bothering me.

It is keeping me from getting to sleep.

I feel so inadequate and stoo-pid.

Ugh.  

Guess it's time to get on my knees and pray:  pray in thanksgiving,  pray for more help, pray for more grace.  

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